Gardening question for the day

Q:  How long should it take you to plant a dozen pepper plants?

A:  Too long.  Plus another hour.

Because you know that one cannot simple go outside, dig a hole & throw the plant in the ground.  Oh no.  First you must find the shovel & trowel that the dog has taken from on top of the picnic table and hidden somewhere in the front yard.  Then you have to cart the plants from the back porch, through the house, avoid a potentially catastrophic bone-breaking fall from overly friendly cats trying to rub up against your leg while carrying too many plants at one time, through the front door without letting twenty million flies in, schooch humongous sloppy dog out of the way, across the front yard avoiding same overly friendly sloppy dog, and attempt to open broken garden gate propped open by two 2x6's using your foot so the dogs don't follow you into the garden.

Once securely inside the garden, you realize that you still need additional items to make planting of the peppers easier.  Bucket for compost, gloves, trowel/shovel that you eventually found, etc., and after procuring said items realize that that you really should weed some of the area where the plants will be going.

Willy-nilly weed the blueberry bed (where the peppers are going).  Toss delectable goodies over the fence into the goat pen where the goats act as if they haven't been feed in a week and a half and listen to the sound of goat skulls being cracked against each other.....all over a handful of weeds which they will eventually turn their nose up at because there was a bit of dirt on it.

While in the garden, I notice that the bed containing our grape vines is wildly overgrown.  Start weeding that bed. Finally realize that I haven't put my gloves on so am now picking thorns out of my flesh because the stinking horse nettle plants that have taken over.

Take a short break for a beverage and to cool down (it was in the upper 80's you know) and go back out to plant the peppers.  Again.  But before I can get to the garden, I notice that I haven't finished weeding my soon-to-be herb garden and since I'm in a weeding mood I move over there and finish that job.  Of course the chickens are suddenly interested in this area and I have to shoo them away (i.e. scream like a raving lunatic) every ten seconds or they will destroy what few plants I have yet to "chicken proof".

I can now go back to planting the peppers.  Again-again.  Except I now realize that Herman has (yet again) his head stuck in the fence.  I could just leave him there and hope he'll eventually maneuver his why-do-I-have-horned-goats head out of there, but it is awfully hot outside and I don't want him to get overheated yelling and struggling.  So I walk over to the other side of the pen (because it would just be too easy if he kept getting stuck on the near side of the pen) and get his head unstuck.  While I'm on the far side of the goat pen, I stop to admire the wild phlox growing back there.  Then start walking farther down the path trying to ID some other wild plants, taking a sprig or two here and there and bring them in the house for later positive identification.  Since I'm at the house and near the water faucet I start to untangle the 100' of knotted hell mess of hose that will allow me to water the pepper plants that I will eventually put into the ground.

But now that I have the hose handy, I may as well top off the goat / chicken water buckets and give them some cool water.  So.  Back to the peppers.  Again-again-again.

And this time I actually did what I set out to do several hours earlier....plant the peppers!!!

Although I have no idea why it took so long for me to do so.

Thankful for a rainy day

This past winter, Paul has been working on getting a fence line cleared and three weeks ago I spread grass seed over the open area.   Paul then hooked up a big cedar tree to the tractor and drug it across the area to get the seed smooshed in a bit.  We were lucky enough to time it right with Mother Nature that we had a nice light rain soon afterwards and again about a week later.

The fence line and the open area right around it will provide grazing for Ms. Melman (the mule) and the wooded interior will provide plenty of browse for the goats.

For the past week, it's been pretty hot and I've been worried about the newly forming grass.  The area is really too far away from the house to use the hose on it so we were just going to have to pray that rain would come before all those new little delicate shoots became crispy and dead.

Just before I started to really worry, we got rain!  Yesterday evening we had a rainstorm.  Not for long, but enough to ease my hydration worries.  And today it's overcast and sprinkling!

4/20: Just seeded

5/6: Little bit o' green showing

5/16: More green! 

So even though it's a bit gloomy out and not very conducive for gardening or playing outside, I'm happy for the moisture.  Besides, there is plenty to do indoors.  Like make cookies.  Or a cake.  Or banana bread.....

PS - Oh Bonnie Williams......were are you?  You won the giveaway & I cannot guarantee that this big honking bar of chocolate will last much longer in this chocolate-loving household!! :)

My Garden and Tiny's Yarden

My vegetable garden is pretty much nonexistent.  Half of the tomato plants I started from seed this winter were torn up by the chickens.  The other half (which were in the somewhat-protected area of the berry garden) are still alive, but not thriving.

Sad little tomato plant.  One of the few survivors
of the Great Chicken Scratching Massacre of 2013.

Not a single pepper plant came up from my starts and since it's way too late to start them from seed now, I broke down and bought a green, yellow and red variety from the local nursery.

I planted cucumbers and peas along one of the garden fences a few weeks back and the peas are coming up nicely.  The cucumbers, not so much.  Hopefully I can keep the rogue chickens out of the garden and they will find other things to scratch at and destroy.

Cucumbers; not so nice looking.

Peas; pretty nice looking.

Chickens are little feathered excavating machines.  Destructive beyond imagination.  You wouldn't think that those little biddies could rip up so much vegetation in so little time.  If one were to park oneself right outside my house, you would see me busting out of the screen door like a rocket, screaming "Freaking Chickens in the Garden!!" at the top of my lungs, flailing my arms in the air at least three times a day.

Trying to flee the scene of the crime.

Of course, this is really no excuse for me to have been so late with the garden.  I could have put up the netting over the still-bare raised beds in the front yard.  Or we could lock down the chickens. Although that would require us to build a pen for them and that's not very high on the priority list.

So my garden is still not planted.  But it's on this week's To Do List.  I've got to get the peppers in, plant the squash & melon seeds and maybe even work on my kind'a newish herb garden (big reveal on the next post.....exciting, I know).

But speaking of something new, did you know that Tiny Gardener has a Facebook Page called Yarden?  Yup, she does!  Do you like stalking strangers (and mind you, she is most definitely strange) from your laptop and peering into the lives of their suburban poultry and gardening?  Then go "Like" her page over on the evil Facebook!  I'm sure she'd be happy for the company.  Tell her I sent ya.  And tell her that she doesn't post nearly enough cat pictures.

Dude, where's my goat?

We've been blessed with some much needed spring rains the past week.  Of course, it just so happened to be when my sister and her husband were visiting.  Go figure.  But it just gave Christine an excuse to not do yard work.  Moving sticks, buckets of rocks and "fluffing" the burn pile is hard work.  Not to mention it curtailed her search for the elusive Wabblenuts bird.

Even though the rain put a little bit of a damper on the human activities, it did wonders for bringing out the jungle in the back yard.  I had been putting the goats out there on lines, but obviously not often enough:

I thought I put the goats out here.

Oh, there you are!
New Goat trying to eat her way out of the back yard.

I can only put three goats out in that area at a time otherwise they get tangled up.  Although, even if only one of them were out there she'd manage to make macrame out of the ropes.  In like fifteen seconds.  They will get their lead rope knotted around a twig stuck in the ground and then wind themselves around it four-thousand times until they are left with only six inches of rope.  This is why I cringe when I hear of someone thinking of getting a goat and just staking it out someplace instead of having a fenced area.

When you stake your goats out on a lead, you have to be within sight or hearing distance.  Because they will get tangled in something or end up having it wrapped around their foot.  Or head.  Or horns.  Well, at least mine do. But maybe my goats are just exceptionally stupid.  Or I am for letting them out there in the first place.  It's just that all that lush, green grass is going to waste if they aren't eating it and it drives me nuts just to mow it down.

You know you're an owner of grazing critters when you drive down the road and see the all that "wasted" grass and sob.  The tall grasses on the side of the roads, the lawns surrounding homes, the utility easements and even the state parks.  All that beautiful, green, yummy grass that just gets mowed down.  And every stinking time (much to Paul's annoyance) I say aloud, "Look at all that grass my goats could be eating!!"

Speaking of which, I need to swap out the goats.  Pickles is screaming (imagine that) to be let out of the pen and I think Nettie has stuffed herself with enough clover for now.

PS - Bonnie Williams, you were the winner of my giveaway, please email me your mailing address so I can ship your goodies to you!

Wee-ner!

And the winner of the book and big honk'n bar of chocolate is.....

Drum roll please.......

Bonnie Williams!

Congrats girl!  Shoot me an email at CarolynRenee at centurytel dot net with your mailing address and choice of book and I'll ship your prizes out to you.

Thanks everyone for participating.  These giveaways may not be Publisher's Clearinghouse huge, but they're still fun :)

I read all the nice cat comments to my feline crew and they said, "Thank you".

Well, not really.  Evil Kitty just walked over the keyboard.  Crackers ran underneath the bed, Susan just stared at me and Outside Kitty said "pffffttttthhhhh" or something like that.

Still love 'em though.

Really, I didn't forget

I just got a bit sidetracked with the latest Raw Milk Rant.

So here's the giveaway you've all been waiting for.  Or not.

Pick one of the following gently used books:

And get a bar of chocolate as big as my kid's head as a bonus!

All you have to do is make a comment on this post and tell me how much you like cats.  Even if you don't.  Because although you may utterly detest animals from the feline family, I'm going to make you say you love them if you want to win the goodies.

Contest ends at Midnight this Friday night.  Winner will be announced on Saturday morning whenever I wake up and get around to posting it on the blog.  Open to US residents only.

And if you want a chance to win an awesome quilting book, head on over to Mama Pea's blog, A Home Grown Journal.  But hurry, her giveaway ends tomorrow night (Thursday) at 9 pm!

Good luck!

Me? Pissed off? Imagine that.

Ok, another Raw Milk Update from Donna at South Pork Ranch:

Midlife Farmwife: Raw Milk Update

I know, I know, it's just a link.  And that means that you'll have to do a little bit of reading to get the whole story.  But if you're not familiar with the war that is on Donna's barn doorstep, please take a few minutes to acquaint yourself with what she is doing.  In my opinion, she IS the Joan of Arc for Raw Milk in Illinois.

But here's a (not so) snappy-quick synopsis of what's currently happening in Illinois:

The holier-than-thou, we-know-better-than-you, screw-your-local-farmer Illinois Department of Public Health (IDPH) has been on the attack regarding the sale of raw milk.  Pretending to listen to the advocates of raw milk.  Giving them lip service while telling them to kiss their fatgovernmentass in the process.  If you think that the political process is a "fair and balanced" way to handle things like what you can or cannot cram in your maw, you are going to be horribly disappointed.

This is a classic example of our current political system.  Governmental departments wanting to impose more rules upon their "servants" when they don't even bother to follow their own rules.  More rules, more permits, more bureaucratic red tape, more hoops to jump though.  Oh, and they're going to need more tax money from you in order to save you from yourself.

Don't fool yourselves.  Although Donna gave Molly Lamb (director at the IDPH) a chance to listen to the "other" side, Mrs. Lamb and her associates never considered changing the "proposed" rules.  Rules they tried to sneak into the legislature without even letting those being affected by them into the discussion group.  Had it not been for Donna, this probably would have gone pretty much unnoticed.  Which is what most government operations rely on.  Stealth, secrecy, untruths.  They invited raw milk advocates simply so they could say "we listened to both sides" even though through the eyes of the IDPH, those proposed rules were as good as law.

Some may say that I don't have a dog in this hunt.  I no longer live in Illinois (thank goodness....sorry Donna) so this will not directly impact my ability to produce, sell or consume raw milk.  But this is NOT about my right to drink a glass of raw milk.  It is about control.  Plain and simple.  And for those of you that think I've put my tin foil hat on a wee-bit tight, it is YOU that is wearing the tin foil hat.  If you cannot see the writing on the wall, if you cannot feel the noose tightening, if you cannot hear the drums of war, then I think you need to turn off Dancing with The Stars and wake up.  Or just get in line, don't resist, and get in the boxcar.

The IDPH will claim that these new rules are being implemented for the safety & health of all.  That people cannot be trusted to buy milk from somewhere other than a 7-11 (do they even have those anymore??)  That you will not be allowed to enter into a private contract for the purchase of a perfectly safe food from a non-corporate or non-government-approved facility.

Right now the IDPH has their sights on raw milk.  Evil, horrible, toxic raw milk.  Pasteurization is the only safe way to consume milk.  Because they say so.  So if you want to produce, sell or consume milk, it damned well better be pasteurized and produced by a multi-million dollar mega farm.

So the Department of Health wants unpasteurized milk to be illegal.  In their eyes, pasteurization is absolutely necessary, the only way to safely consume milk and because of that they are attempting to pass laws so no one can produce/sell/consume non-pasteurized milk (or cheese, or yogurt, etc.).

Stay with me here, I'm getting to the point even though it may seem to segue a bit.

Did you know that the USDA and FDA approves of the irradiation of foods?  (Click here for a quick info sheet on why it's bad)  What happens when these same governmental agencies start passing laws that state only irradiated foods are allowed to be sold?  That only irradiated foods are "safe".  That eating something that hasn't been subjected to radiation is evil, horrible, toxic.

Another steering committee is assembled.  "Real Food Advocates" are reluctantly invited to these meetings, and only because somebody was diligent enough to keep an eye on the government agencies.  But the big produce corporations/farms have had their people stuffing money in the government department purses for years now.  New laws are passed, "for the safety and health" of the general public.

Now you cannot grow/sell/consume non-irradiated foods.  Meaning that the food in your front yard, that you planted, cared for, harvested has suddenly become illegal.  The only way you would be able to legally eat food would be if you purchased it from your local mega-grocery store.  

Oh the Department of Health wouldn't necessarily make growing your own food illegal.  They would just make it impossible to do it according to their wishes; the same thing they are doing for raw milk.  They wouldn't outlaw your garden, they would just make it impossible for you to be able to afford to garden.  You would have to buy an insanely expensive contraption capable of irradiating your produce and build a separate holding facility for your produce per USDA specs (based upon specs for mega-farms and totally unnecessary and financially impossible for you). You would have to pay for monthly government inspections, lab work and onsite testing of your food.  You would have to apply for permits, tax stamps, ID tags, special equipment and relinquish any possibility of having the slightest control over what you or your family eats.

Any non-irradiated foods found by authorities would be doused with bleach and dumped into landfills.  Jack booted thugs with black bullet-proof jackets and waving AR-15's would break through your front door, shoot your dog, hold you at gunpoint while they torched your gardens.  Your children would be kidnapped and handed over to the DCFS because you've been convicted of child abuse for knowingly feeding your children the "poisoned" food you grew.  And this all transpired because you dared grow and sell your own non-irradiated strawberries to a family down the road.

Really.

How far am I stretching this?  They already do this to raw milk farmers who dare sell their milk.

I don't care how you feel about drinking raw milk.  If you don't want to drink it, then don't.  And don't call those sounding the alarm a bunch of paranoid nutjobs.  These atrocities sanctioned by our own government against peaceful and lawful citizens happen on a daily basis.

Don't be blinded by man behind the curtain.  This is not about raw milk.  This is not about irradiated foods.  This is about a bunch of arrogant, self-serving people in positions of "power" that want to stay in power by making you powerless.  By making you a criminal.

Don't fall for it.