Sunday, May 31, 2015

Silence is Golden

I have just added an immeasurable amount of time to my remaining life expectancy by reducing my blood pressure to half of it's normal reading.

I got rid of Lira.

No, I didn't go out there with a machine gun and do her in, although I have had thoughts about ripping out her vocal cords or duct-taping her screaming howler shut.  I sold her.  And not to the slaughterhouse or for goat stew; she went to a very nice couple who raises Boer and Boer cross goats.  The exact same people who bought Lira's mother, Penny (the horned goat who almost did Nettie in a year ago), saw my ad in the local FB goat page and wanted her.

And I immediately had seller's remorse.  You know, the feeling that maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't have sold that goat (or chicken, or horse, or whatever).  The gentleman that bought Penny, and subsequently Lira, showed me pictures of Penny's kids and they are stinking beautiful!  Penny popped out two doelings a few months ago, one of them almost solid red!  I had Penny bred to Herman before I sold her to them and when I saw the pictures of her kids I cursed myself.  If I could have only dealt with Penny for another eight months, I would have been the proud owner of those two beautiful doelings.  But then I thought it through again.  I would have had to deal with her and her pointy horns for another eight months.  So I told myself that it was for the best.  And it was.

So of course, when Paul lifted Lira out of the crate and we made the goat / greenback exchange in the middle of the Tractor Supply parking lot this weekend, I had that feeling again.

Lira popped out two beautiful black headed Boer kids, one boy and one girl.  I intend on keeping the male intact for (hopefully) breeding more black headed Boers into our herd.  The only, and I mean, the only reason that I couldn't stand Lira was because she was a screamer.  A non-stop screamer.  And it drove me totally freaking bonkers.  Like, I wanted to go out there and bash her head in every time I went outside because, every time I went outside, she was screaming.  I though Pickles was bad, but Lira, oh, she took the proverbial Caprine Cake.

I had yelling matches with her.  I swore at her.  I would purposely stay INside because I didn't want to go outside and hear her bawling at me.  It was horrible.  And I seriously considered putting a dog shock collar on her and zapping her every time she bawled to see if I could kick her of the habit.  But really, all I wanted to do was strangle her every time I saw (i.e. heard) her.

So there I was, in the Tractor Supply parking lot, getting that feeling again.....the "Seller's Remorse".  Because you know what?  For the past two days, I haven't heard a stinking peep out of her.  And the entire hour-plus ride to drop her off (she was in the back seat), she didn't make a sound.  Maybe she was going to turn around.  Maybe she realized that I would get rid of her if she didn't stop yelling.  Maybe she permanently lost her voice.

Maybe cats would fly outt'a my ass.

I don't care how quiet she was for the past two days, because I KNOW if I would have kept her, I would have been back to screaming obscenities out the front door at her every time she yelled.  And I don't give a rodent's buttocks if she suddenly started popping out gold-plated kids every year.  We said goodbye to her and I'm happier than a clam.  Not to mention I'm a hundred clams richer for it.
I think it's a win-win situation, don't you?


  1. Absolutely! You did good. Sometimes I want to throw rocks at the Mocking Bird that seems to follow me around when I am gardening. It never stops.

  2. I know EXACTLY what you mean.
    We had a neighbor with a dog that NEVER SHUT UP. EVER!!!!
    I had visions of going over there in my truck---running through the kennel with it and squishing that dog.......then backing up and running over it again JUST TO BE SURE.
    The happiest day of my life is when there appeared a FOR SALE sign in her yard. She moved out soon after. I was over-joyed.
    And then I heard a new dog barking....................................................................

    SH$% !!!

  3. Don't know how you stood that screaming goat aria as long as you did. (Or you, Sue, with the neighborhood barking dog!) I couldn't have done it. We have never figured out where our occasional barking dog lives . . . he's far enough away that at least his bark-bark-barking is muted, and we think he's just a dog who comes to visit once in a while because we can almost forget about him between episodes. How do the people of barking dogs stand it? Obviously, they must tune it out. (Or perhaps they just don't have enough brain cells left to hear it.)

    I agree that you did the absolute right thing in selling Lira. You did. Just keep repeating that to yourself for a couple of days. Or weeks. Or . . .

  4. I'm FINALLY getting around to catching up on your blog! DO you still have Pickles? Holy crap Outside Kitty is HUGE! Chicken toe?! Gross! How did Rhiannon's bunny report turn out?

  5. The silence must be deafening. But wait - there's still Pickles! That Seller's Remorse stuff can drive you batty - but I am glad you stuck with your plan. That noise would have driven me mad.

  6. Carolyn,

    Silence is very relaxing, glad to hear you found a home for Lira. Sellers Remorse will go away soon enough!!!

  7. I think you did the right thing. I understand the feeling tho. lol