Thursday, January 3, 2013
You Shall Not Pass!
We live in the kind'a county. Not like middle-of-freaking-nowhere country, but country enough that pick up trucks, cattle and guys spitting chaw (ick, ick, ICKY!!) are seen on a daily, if not hourly, basis.
We also just so happen to live at the end of a gravel road, a mile from the "main" road through our respective town. And we get a lot of turn-arounds at the house.
It's not that I'm anti-social (Shit, who am I kidding. If no one came down here in a year and a half I'd be thrilled.) or freaked out about hockey-mask-wearing and chain-saw-wielding freaks from wandering down here (give me a rifle & you can kiss you & your Huskavarna goodbye), but these constant turn-arounds are beginning to piss me off.
I understand that people get lost. I understand that people sometimes just want to take a drive through the country and sight-see. But when those incidents happen with this frequency, something has to be done about it before I go postal on the next person who makes a gravel-slinging U-Turn in the middle of my front yard.
So what did my wonderful husband do during his vacation last week? He put up this:
I know that Mom is going to be grumbling about it under her breath and I'm sure that there will be times (like when it's pouring rain outside) that I'll be crabbing about having to get out of the car to open it, get back in the car, get out again to close it, then finally back in the car. We're also going to have to build one of those little package delivery boxes or something for the mail/FedEx/UPS guys. But I'm mighty happy to see that unwritten but obvious "Unwelcome" sign guarding the front of our driveway. I'll worry less about people ripping through my front yard, wondering if they'll end up hitting a chicken, dog or cat or goodness forbid, Rhiannon playing outside. I'll worry less about shady characters scoping out our place looking to steal our broken down lawnmower or run off with our pile of rocks (if only). And what about our "Welcomed" guests? Well, you know who you are and know how we are, so you should know better than to be offended by the gate. And if you have to wonder if you're one of the "welcomed" persons.....well, then you probably aren't.
But honestly, I'm just tickled that we have a farm gate. Because I've always wanted one. Because it somehow makes our place seem like more of a "real" farm when you have to get out of your truck to open a big-ol' gate. Silly, I know.
So if you're planning on paying us a visit, you'd better call ahead or plan on parking your vehicle at the gate and hoofing it down to the house.
Oh, and make sure you let me know you're coming ahead of time. You know. Just in case. (Wink-wink)