Monday, November 24, 2014

Ungrateful Human

Today I opened the front door to get another log to toss on the fire.  Staring at me was Outside Kitty, wanting inside.  Which isn't necessarily out of the ordinary.  But luckily I hesitated before opening the storm door because he had a huge freaking chipmunk in his maw.  When I didn't immediately open the door for him, he looked anxious and was kind'a pacing in place (like when a kid has to pee).  I tried to shoo him away from the door so I could go out but he was very insistent that he come inside with his prize (which was still very much alive, btw).  I finally squeezed my rotund self through the door while blocking his entrance inside and sat down on a bench on the porch.

Outside Kitty immediately came up to me, still doing the "pacing" thing.  So I finally grabbed the chipmunk from the tail and held it up, wondering what the hell I was going to do with a live rodent that would probably try to bite my face off if it had the chance.  Before I was able to contemplate any additional solutions to the rodent-in-hand, the chipmunk's tail hair gave way, he fell, bounced once and then zoomed across the deck with the not-so-light footed cat right after him.

Rhiannon came out to see what all the commotion was about and got to see Outside Kitty hunting his prey.  Which is actually pretty remarkable given the weight which he has put on since being neutered and gaining access to the indoors and the neverending bowl of Meow Mix.

After a few minutes, Outside Kitty (a.k.a. Manboob Kitty) cornered his quarry and made the catch. And presented it to me once more.

By the expression on his face I'm sure he was thinking, "You idiot.  I caught it another time for you, now don't lose it again".  Since it wasn't dead (or at least wasn't when I had it), I took it from him and flung it over the porch railing.  I know, it's just a rodent.  But I don't think we have a serious chipmunk problem at our place so I figured I'd set the little bugger free.

I probably should have been more appreciative to Outside Kitty.  He brought me a gift, which I "lost" two times, yet he still continued to fetch it for me.  He was obviously perplexed at my continuing confusion as to what to do with the gift.  I mean, I did think about taking it from him and then hiding it so he didn't see me wantonly discard his present.  Or should I have personally dealt the final death snap to the rodent's neck with my own teeth, placed it on a plate and sat down with Outside Kitty on the porch to eat the thing?

I don't know.  But the chipmunk has not returned.  Either it has wisely high-tailed it's behind to another part of the woods or it has managed to shove itself between the rocks on the side of the house where it slowly died from internal bleeding and we will soon "find" it by the offending smell.


  1. Well, at least he tried :) Maybe he burned off a few calories?

  2. At least the poor beleaguered chipmunk is outside (to face his possible demise) rather than inside hiding in your house in some nook or cranny where he would REALLY make an offending smell. Oh, the adventures one encounters revolving around our animals!

  3. I would love to have an Outside Kitty (although mine, as well, would be an Inside/Outside Kitty with Manboobs, too.) However, we have a real overload of predators here and he/she wouldn't last. Don't you wonder what cats are thinking? It's probably better that we don't know.

  4. Our kitty likes to give me TOMATO WORMS!! The bigger, the better.

  5. What a great post. I had to laugh because we've had more chipmunks brought into the house than I care to admit (and a baby rabbit once, thankfully no mice). It's the reason the kitty door is now one way!

  6. Thank you for making me smile tonight! Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

  7. put on leather gloves.
    accept gift while gratefully cooing.
    let kitty into house.
    have someone give him tuna while you remain outside.
    release varmint into the wild.
    remove gloves.
    enter house nonchalantly.
    try to keep larger supply of fire wood in house.
    deb h.