Thursday, February 16, 2012

Still waiting

You know, if I never second-guessed myself on the date of Nettie's kidding, I would have only been anxious since yesterday.  But nooooooo.........I had to re-calculate breeding dates and all that.  Serves me right.  Not only that, but when I checked the calendars for the past several years, Nettie has kidded a day later than her anticipated date the last three of five times.  So really, I should be expecting a kid sometime today.

It's now almost 4 in the morning on Thursday and I've been up for at least an hour.  Not only to check on Nettie, who has FINALLY bagged up, but to go coyote chasing.

Maybe a little over an hour ago, I half woke up and though I heard coyotes howling, but since I was being a lazy sloth still sleepy-eyed and mostly incoherent, I just shrugged it off and dozed off again.  Then a little while later I was awakened by the sound of a chicken squwaking like mad right outside the

SOB......they're back again!!!!

Ugh!  I'm back now; not that you really noticed my absence.  And my right ear is ringing from the sound of the shotgun going off.  (Yes Paul, I know I should have been wearing hearing protection)

Anyways, back to my original rant.  There was the distinct sound of a chicken going nuts-o right around the back of the house.  I throw on a pair of pants, grab the shotgun, hop into a pair of Paul's boots, don my handy-dandy headlamp (how DID I ever get along without one of those things???) and Moonshine and I rush out the door.  Don't ask me why I even let Moonshine out, the coyotes would just laugh so hard they'd piss themselves, but oh well.

The culprit is long gone, or at least that's what I figured as I didn't see any glowing eyes peering back at me from out in the woods or around the house.  Made a quick circle around the house and as I'm making my way out to the goat barn to check on Nettie (again....***sighs***), Moonshine must have got a whiff of something as she goes running out into the woods baying like mad.  

Now really.  What the hell does she think she's going to do?  I mean, LOOK at this dog:

In what alternative universe would you think a dog like this would ever stand the slightest chance of doing anything to a coyote but make it snicker when it realized it was being chased by an overweight beagle mutt??  I actually get a little concerned when she goes chasing after the deer thinking that I'll later find her pummeled into the ground with hoof-prints across her soft and supple sausage-like body.

But I regress (as usual).

I get to the goat barn and Annette, Chop Suey and Pan are all in their "what the heak's going on" stance.  Nettie is in the kidding pen, wondering the same.  I take her out to pee, let her wander around a bit, then after consoling the caprine crew with a handful of corn, make my way back to the house.  Moonshine is back, tail a-wagging and I give her an "Atta' Girl" pat on the head and we both come back inside.  I wanted to look for signs of the chicken struggle, but figure I'll look in the morning for the possible survivor or the pile of feathers from the coyotes snack.

What's a chicken doing by the house, you ask?  Well, there is one chicken that does not like to go into the coop at night.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe she's being picked on when trying to go inside.  Maybe she has claustro-coop-o-phobia and the thought of being cooped up with everyone else makes her queasy.  Or maybe she's just a stupid chicken and only just now realized why it's not such a good idea to roost somewhere other than the secure chicken coop.

Anyways, back in the house again, I turn on the computer 'cause I'm obviously too wired to go right back to sleep.  Grab myself a glass of water, put on my fuzzy slippers and start to type away on this post.  Then I hear the damned coyotes again.  (Which is where I left you guys hanging the last time)  Headlamp, shotgun (pants are still on btw) and fuzzy slippers on, I go outside and wait for a few minutes, listening to the choir of yipping canines.  It sounds like they are farther down the property by the creek so I just popped off a shot into the air to make them think twice about coming back around.  Oh.  Don't forget to swap your fuzzy slippers for "outside" shoes even if you're just going to be out on the porch for only a minute.  Because you won't be on the porch.  And you won't be out there for just a minute.  And then you'll have to scrape chicken crap off your fuzzy slippers.

Haven't heard them in about a half hour now, so I'm going to finish this post.  You know, the short one that was just supposed to be an update that Nettie still hadn't kidded.  

Which she still hasn't.  Which is good I suppose because I really, really need to get some sleep.


  1. That's an awful lot of excitement going on at your place LOL... take lots of pics when the kidding begine! Glad to hear she bagged up, that's got to be a relief.

  2. Oh I hate that when I forget to change out of my slippers and they get chicken crap on them! :-) Moonshine does look like a REAL threat. glad Nettie is bagging up, can't wait to see babies!

  3. Only on a homestead with animals would all this happen (and be blogged about!) before 5 a.m.!

    Tell Moonshine she's doin' just fine. We had a friend whose Chihuahua would chase black bears. (How's that for an over-inflated ego? Or just plain stupid dog.) The bears ran because they probably thought the dog was a large mosquito with rabies.

  4. I do not have "Fuzzy Slippers", But I can see where Chicken Crap on a pair might not be the best thing! And at 5 AM yet!
    I too have a overweight Dog! Daisy is a Terrier mix I have had for about 6 years and she thinks that chasing any other animal is great sport! And if she were as big as her Ego, She would be 7 ft tall and bullet Proof! (Hey, that would make a great song!)
    I live on the edge of the "Great Dismal Swamp", Bear and Fox are moving back into the area! The day that my house was set up on the foundation, A Bear walked out of the trees at the back of the property and watched the whole thing! Work on the house stopped and a Staring Contest between the Bear and the workers started. The Bear won!

  5. Give Moonshine an extra pat on the head and explain to her that the coyotes would EAT HER FOR LUNCH!! Hopefully, they didn't eat the stupid chicken for a midnight snack! Your post had me laughing and laughing! Oh, glad Nettie has decided to bag up so *she* can feed her kid(s)!

  6. It's that time of year for coyotes (and wolves too). The young are leaving mom here and this seems to bring them into the barnyard. Darn beasts. Moonshine would scare me if I was a coyote, especially if she bays like a beagle. Hopefully the coyotes find better things to eat and leave your chickens alone so you can get to sleep.

  7. Omgosh~I am laughing so hard! Because...

    1. We have the same fat, baying beagle who must have read "Where the Red Fern Grows" and decided that she is one of those hounds...minus the chasing parts.

    2. Middle of the night, gun in hand, boots on feet coyote chases...except it's usually my Mister and he saves time by not grabbing the pants...

    3. I am currently sitting in my bathrobe, with no fuzzy slippers because they are sitting on the back porch with, you guessed it, chicken crap on them.

    Ain't life grand? Glad to hear that Nettie is moving along!

  8. Well, you can't say your dog doesn't have high self esteem.

  9. OMG, the drama! And "claustro-coop-o-phobia", I have to add that to my vocab :) Good luck with the birth!