Thursday, January 3, 2013

You Shall Not Pass!


We live in the kind'a county.  Not like middle-of-freaking-nowhere country, but country enough that pick up trucks, cattle and guys spitting chaw (ick, ick, ICKY!!) are seen on a daily, if not hourly, basis.

We also just so happen to live at the end of a gravel road, a mile from the "main" road through our respective town.  And we get a lot of turn-arounds at the house.

It's not that I'm anti-social (Shit, who am I kidding.  If no one came down here in a year and a half I'd be thrilled.) or freaked out about hockey-mask-wearing and chain-saw-wielding freaks from wandering down here (give me a rifle & you can kiss you & your Huskavarna goodbye), but these constant turn-arounds are beginning to piss me off.

I understand that people get lost.  I understand that people sometimes just want to take a drive through the country and sight-see.  But when those incidents happen with this frequency, something has to be done about it before I go postal on the next person who makes a gravel-slinging U-Turn in the middle of my front yard.

So what did my wonderful husband do during his vacation last week?  He put up this:
Our first official farm gate!

I know that Mom is going to be grumbling about it under her breath and I'm sure that there will be times (like when it's pouring rain outside) that I'll be crabbing about having to get out of the car to open it, get back in the car, get out again to close it, then finally back in the car.  We're also going to have to build one of those little package delivery boxes or something for the mail/FedEx/UPS guys.  But I'm mighty happy to see that unwritten but obvious "Unwelcome" sign guarding the front of our driveway.  I'll worry less about people ripping through my front yard, wondering if they'll end up hitting a chicken, dog or cat or goodness forbid, Rhiannon playing outside.  I'll worry less about shady characters scoping out our place looking to steal our broken down lawnmower or run off with our pile of rocks (if only).  And what about our "Welcomed" guests?  Well, you know who you are and know how we are, so you should know better than to be offended by the gate.  And if you have to wonder if you're one of the "welcomed" persons.....well, then you probably aren't.

But honestly, I'm just tickled that we have a farm gate.  Because I've always wanted one.  Because it somehow makes our place seem like more of a "real" farm when you have to get out of your truck to open a big-ol' gate.  Silly, I know.

So if you're planning on paying us a visit, you'd better call ahead or plan on parking your vehicle at the gate and hoofing it down to the house.

Oh, and make sure you let me know you're coming ahead of time.  You know.  Just in case.  (Wink-wink)

20 comments:

  1. There really is something about a big ol' gate to make you feel like a real farmer. I love the big gates my sister has on the paddocks for the horses. They are just so big and substantial. And having my little nephew standing up on there pointing in the field and telling me all about the tractors and the horse that is knuckle head and this and that and planting etc is a bonus. He is 5 by the way and knows more about tractors than one can ever hope to know.

    Yes, gates sure are awesome!

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  2. Wow!!! Very nice Paul!!! Now if you were REALLY fancy, you'd get one of those intercom thingys like big mansions have. Or better yet...a Gate Man that sits in a little house all day and night. Krazo Acres is now an Official Gated Community!

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  3. I'll bet a certain realtor will just go around it!!

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  4. That's great!
    My driveway is tiny but I still wish I could gate it sometimes. We live on a state highway that wouldn't even exist except to connect two bigger highways. Perfect strip for satellite and extra-meat-in-the-back-of-the-truck salesmen and lost-drunk-at 3am on Sunday morning drivers.
    Enjoy your gate!

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  5. Yes getting in and out couple times is a pain to open and close gate when driving thru, but much better peace of mind with it. Hope you put a padlock on it too, some people will just open it anyway and drive in. I keep my gate locked ... anyone coming needs to call ahead. I was getting way to many strangers coming in wanting to buy sheep ... There was no for sale sign out there, but they figured if I had a flock of sheep they must be for sale. WTG Paul.

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  6. Well, so much for sneaking in a visit...you could always get one of those remote openers for gates. Then you could sit in your big truck and push a button. I don't blame you at all. I, for instance, was thinking up putting up a nice, thick rope about mid-snowmobile height across the road. But, then, again, maybe not.

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  7. NICE looking gate!! Isn't it funny how easily us "rural" types are impressed! LOL!! We live on a dead end road too and get the occasional Sunday-out-for-a-drive-let's-see-what's-down-this-road car that has to turn around. I keep telling hubby we should put up a sign off the main road that says something like "Not A Thru Road" or "Dead End."

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  8. That is one major thing we have to do when we get to our property is put up a gate.I'm sure people have been back there wondering.Also signs because it will deter and make people think twice(depends too on what you put on it lol!!)

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  9. I was seriously considering putting up a gate since some days it is like a parade route down my driveway. But the thing that kept me from doing it is that I worry about emergency responders. If my house were on fire or I needed an ambulance there would be no way to get the gate open for them if I were not home or the one needing the EMT. Each second counts if they have to get out and figure out how to open the gate. I was wondering how your combating that? Otherwise I would put one up in a second.

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  10. LOL!! We are thinking about one too. Kind of makes it more "official"...people turn around at the top of our driveway because you need 4-wheel drive to get down it - our gravel kept sinking in the clay so we finally put down a layer of railroad ballast (really big rocks)...standard cars don't have the necessary clearance :-)

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  11. Now all you need it to post an unreadable sign riddled with buckshot on one of the posts to get the full effect!

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  12. Tiny Gardener, isn't it cool to see a little kid doing farmish stuff?!

    Christine, they DO make an automatic gate opener....but it's like a thousand bucks. Paul's birthday is coming up. Hint-hint.

    Ok there "Anonymous", but he would think that the gate wasn't for someone so "high & mighty" as himself, so I'm sure he'll just open it up and drive through. Although he'll only do that once. (evil laugh)

    Hoosier Girl, you know, now that I think about it, we've NEVER had one of those frozen meat or seafood guys come down here.....gawd I hope I didn't just jinx myself!!

    Tombstone, I'm not sure if we'll put a lock on it or not. And technically, they can just drive around it right now so a padlock at this point wouldn't make much sense!

    Susan, I've been tempted to do the same thing across a UTILITY easement (some people just don't understand that the easement is for the UTILITY...not every and anybody with an ATV to rip around).

    Candy C., there IS a Dead End sign up there. And the "road" even turns pretty crummy/scarry "Should I really be going down here" kind'a road. But people don't care.

    Annnightflyer, you mean signs like, "If you can read this, you're in range" kind'a signs? :) Not that I've ever considered something like that. Nope. Not me.

    Jane, we're lucky as we're on the Fire Department they & the EMT's know where we live. So everyone knows that they would be more than welcome to take that engine or tanker & just plow through the gate!!

    BrokenRoad, See, there IS an advantage of being way out there......if they go too far, they just sink into the abyss!



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    1. I am planning on putting up No Trespassing signs on each corner of our property.Up at the gate you can put up something in manner of,Please call this number(your number here) for access to this property first!If caught on property,will prosecute to the full extent of the law.Think this might do it?

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    2. Annnightflyer, No Trespassing signs mean nothing to people around here, especially the ones I'm trying to keep out. Big, mean dogs are the best deterrent I'm afraid.

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  13. Chai Chai, you know, that's a darned good idea!

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  14. Excellent! I love it! We need a gate for our driveway too, a privacy gate. Our neighbor across the street used to leave his blinds open in his dining room until we put up our privacy fence. Now he opens his bedroom blinds, which still gives him a straight view into our back yard! (Talk about annoying).

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  15. Congrats, I would do the same thing...

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  16. I knew someone out in CA that had a couple of signs posted even before the gate that said things like "do not proceed unless you have business here" and "did you read the last sign"? (the county one stating dead end) LOL.... nice job on the gate!

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    1. We may put up some smart-ass signs, but honestly, the signs mean nothing to those we're trying to keep out. I swear some people see open land and think it's theirs to run/drive/hunt/wander around on.

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  17. I'm thinking of a "2nd Amendment is alive and well here" hahaha

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