Friday, August 26, 2011

Goat Wrestling

It was Smack-Down time here at Krazo Acres last night.
Pan, our Nigerian Dwarf buck, has started acting bucky the past few weeks.  He and Chop Suey (Nigerian Dwarf wether) were sharing the back yard goat pen, but Pan had started getting really obnoxious and taking it out on poor Suey.  So about two weeks ago, I saved Chop Suey from any more head-butting or testosterone-induced pissyness and put him back with the girls.  I didn't even have to put him on a lead, he just ran from the back yard to the main goat pen as if to say "It's about time you let me out’s there!"
Anyhow, I've been putting Pan on a long lead in order for him to be able to graze some of the greener areas around his pen.  And is seems like every day he gets more & more bold;  dropping his head as if to head butt me and even doing a little mock charge.  I don't take lightly to being challenged, be it from a pecker-headed rooster or a miniature goat buck with an attitude.  Those types of roosters end up in the soup pot and Pan almost ended up in the pressure cooker last night.
I went to give him his grain for the evening and put him back in the pen.  After he finished eating I bent down to take the lead off him and the SOB butted me and knocked me over.  Then he immediately went after me again!  The first butting would have warranted a sharp slap in the rear end with the leash, but now I was p.i.s.s.e.d. 
Before I could regain my standing (or calm myself down) I leapt on top of him and wrestled him to the ground.  It wasn't as easy as I had thought.  There was much swearing, tearing up of grass and kicking, but I managed to get on top of him and pinned him down.  And I sat there, breathing heavily, and kept him there for a good thirty seconds until he stopped struggling.  I gave him a good "talking to" and then let him up.  Pushed him into the goat pen and closed it up.  I've read somewhere that you're not supposed to challenge a goat by whacking him on the head because that's what they "want" to do, and honestly, you're not going to win a head-butting game with a thick-skulled (or horned!) goat.  Knocking the offending goat off his feet was supposedly a more effective show of dominance.
Well, I guess he wasn't quite convinced of my Alpha status because before I could turn around to leave, he dropped his head again and butted the fence next to where I was standing.  If it weren't for the fact that I'd have to undo the gate (which is actually a bunch of carabineer clips locking the cattle panels together) I would have gone back in there and given it to him again.  I have a very short (and bad) temper.  If I had my sidearm on me, we would be eating BBQ goat sandwiches for supper tonight.  Well, maybe not.  But the idea did come up during that last show of penis-ness.
When I got back in the house, Paul and Rhiannon were fixing supper and Paul immediately commented how badly I smelled.  In my hot-headedness to wrestle Pan to the ground, I forgot that he was starting to pee on himself and that I would reek like the dead if I even touched him (I usually "pet" him with a stick when he's in rut).  Goat-pee-smelling clothes went directly into the washer and I went for hot shower.
While I was in the shower scrubbing off stinky-buck-smell from my pores, I was thinking about my recent contemplation about getting a Boer buck instead of trying (in vain so far) to find one for stud in order to breed Ishtar.  How on earth would I deal with a 250 pound Boer buck in rut if I can't keep a Nigerian in line?  Guess I'd better keep trying to find one to "borrow" during breeding season.
Paul's Take
What the heak is she thinking??  I'm not going to wrestle a pissy, smelly, cranky goat that weighs more than I do!  Because, you know, I would be the one doing all the buck-chores like trimming hooves, giving shots & the like.  Remind me to slap her upside the head next time she mentions it.


  1. Well, I'm glad you won the wrestling match! Doesn't he know who he's messing with? BBQ goat sounds pretty good! :)

  2. Oh how I would have loved a video!! :oD Good morning laugh!

  3. (Laughing)...Gosh you sound like me. I don't take cr@p from nobody, even if you have got 4 legs.

    I do the Alpha Wolf thing on my dogs like you did on Pan. While it works great on dogs I don't think Pan was too impressed...(still grinning) I can picture it now! This could turn into the new "Death Match".

  4. Penis-ness hahahahahahahah. My vocabulary has been enriched! Off to get the coffee out of my nose now!

  5. Any day started with reading one of your posts always turns out well! You must have been p'oed to have leapt on a male goat in full rut! Geez - that's why I will NOT have one around. Little beastard. It's amazing what a big dose of testosterone does to a normally nice male anything. Let him eat hay, I say.

  6. MT, he obviously doesn't know who he's dealing with. Maybe if I put a jar of BBQ sauce next to his pen he'll get the hint.

    APG, the video would have had to contain so many "bleeps" that it would be inaudible.

    Tami, it's been over 24 hours & when I look out the window at him even now I want to go and plow his face into the grass.

    HG, It IS the word around here during rut. That and pecker-head.

    Susan, Pan just started in rut. If I had wrestled him in full-blown rut I'd have to singe the top two layers of my skin to get the stink out. He's NOT getting any grain tonigh either!

  7. I'd have been ticked, too. Glad you won. Maybe you need a tazer for him. lol

  8. Oooooooo.....taaaaazzzeeerrrrrr. :)

  9. I wish we had a video of that wrestling match!

    I am with you! I take no crap from the animals...well, I just stay away from the bulls.
    My husband thinks I am too mean.Yesterday we were trying to round up Willow's calf into the holding pen and after two go-rounds past the gate, I took the switch and swatted her backside all the time yelling some choice words at her. Well into the pen she went. Enough said.

  10. Woo hoo, after 2 weeks, my computer's back online!

    Man oh man what a story. I've had to deal with buck challenges in the past, so I know how scary (and annoying) this can be. From dealing with and observing goat business, I have to admit that I wonder if they ever consider us humans as a real part of the goat hierarchy. I've not seen one yet that would actually acknowledge my alphaness.

    My Pygmy bucks have both been sweethearts (though still to be respected in rut), and I hear the same from others. Why not consider a Pygmy?

  11. Get a shock stick. They do wonders. Oh, and if you want to transport your girls to Ky, I have a Boer you can use for breeding. hehehehe